Welcome to Jew School! With your host…..

Clitsy Rachel Humsa L’Chaim.

hello goyim.. welcome to class.

i am doing this charity work on behalf of jews everywhere.

today in jew skool we will be learning jewish words.

note: yamaca is spelled yarmulke

yiddish:

ways to call someone an asshole with the letter s: shmendrick, schmuck, shmeggegge, schlameil, shlamazel, schnook, shnorrer.

you bastard! = mamzer!

you irish slut = you no-good shiksa

don’t bother me = don’t hach me nich ka chinic.

fuck off = a kahlere (a plague on you.)

zaftig = me.

wanna schtup? = i want to make the sweet love.

everyone knows jews ask lots of questions. when i used to do kids shows, one of the give aways for a posse of jewish kids, is every 10 seconds there’s another question.

sparkles: ok kids.. line up.. we’re doing races.

kid: WHYYY?

kid 2: how long?

kid 3: how many races?

kid 4: but what kind of race? do i have to play? do we win anything?

sparkles: alright.. we’re splitting into teams. you’ve got 2 minutes to come up with a name… and then a musical number. huddle.

kid 1: sparkles why do you hate us?

kid 2: what are we doing in ten minutes?

kid 3: will i get my silk boxers dirty?

kid 4: do you shave?

thanks for attending class gentiles. you may go now.